༺ bucket ༻

Joolz wanted to buy the zebra
it was an actual zebra
stuffed
and standing about weirdly
in the second hand shop
the natural habitat
for terrible taxidermy specimens

the idea had seized her
and our chum Sally
and so it was
that the three of us
went to make the purchase

huh students!

anyway
it turns out it’s really hard
to lug about
African equine awkward
and very heavy

there was quite a way to go
and while they announced
amidst gales of laughter
that it was going to be called
Bret

(Bret?)

i decided to lift it
using the classic
fireman’s lift

as soon as i got it up
on my shoulders
i legged it
for home

after a quarter of a mile
or so
enduring the honking
of passing cars
i was shagged
so i put it down
and turned back

waaay in the distance
i could just make out
the waving
of arms and legs
as they lay on the floor
in convulsions