The Inevitable Split
the college band
was modelled on Kid Creole
and the Coconuts
1984
Orwell’s year
eight of us
different courses
different years
not all in college at all
so we called ourselves
The Inevitable Split
we did tons of gigs
Leeds, Bradford
all over
the best one by far
was at a military place
an amputees recovery unit
only us in the band
not in wheelchairs
a crate of beers
got thrown onto the stage
I tried to remember the chords
as I watched open mouthed
at them dance
I knew you could balance
on the back wheels
but I didn’t know
you could pogo
on one wheel
until it broke
the guy held his stomach
laughing
he got dragged off the dance floor
the broken chair
chucked in a corner
another chair materialised
only to be trashed again
it was like a medieval melee
jousting destruction
they shouted for more
at the end of each song
we belted it out
in awe
at fifty drunken blokes
in hysterics
ripping up
their world
