TV Lutón

9.00am

Barnacle Parliament

Marine Democracy: Bivalve debate hots up as the plankton season approaches.

10.00am

I Married a Doughnut

Confused Nuptial Confessions: Gripping in-depth rubbish - can love last in the topsy-turvy world of doughnutophilia?

11.00am

Ernie: A Life of Smells

Olfactory adventures with the limping laundry man.

12.00am

This Is Your Lung

The breath-taking final - can Brenda make it?

1.00pm

Fantasy Giblets

Spleen of Wonder: The Sperm and Humploader families remove and compare vital organs.

2.00pm

Evenly Spaced

Conoisseur Croisants: Profound meeting of architecture and artistic bakery.

3.00pm

Hip-Op

Wicked: Octogenarian rhymers compete to go up the operating waiting list.

5.30pm

Urban Dairy

Screach, moo, thud, woowarwoowar.: The conflict between ancient pasturing practices and rush hour traffic examined.

7.00pm

Duur

Roundup: Results of our viewers poll. Phone-in with instant executions.

8.00pm

Celebrity Transplant

Catch up: The team follow last weeks ’new thumbs’ newsreader to see how he’s healing. Which Hollywood ‘A’ list celeb will be this weeks unlucky patient in ‘Random Organ Roulette’?

9.00pm

What’s Your Face

Game show: Intoxicants are introduced until brain waves go ‘Luton’. Competitors ECG readings will be entered into the national computer LIVE.

10.00pm

Evil Bread

Film: The wickedness of yeast products corrupts the innocents of small-town America. Some violent violence. Bad language, eg ‘fuck’. Sex, wholemeal.